Saturday, March 14, 2009

WEIRD WALLACE


The weirdest things happen to me. Or maybe I do the weirdest things - I am not really sure!
Here is the short list of some of my experiences...you decide...is it me? Or is it some cosmic energy flowing the wrong way through me....

I have been run over by large women in ECV's several times at Disneyland. ECV - Electric CONVENIENCE Vehicle. Emphasis on CONVENIENCE. Was not so convenient for me.
I have a tendency to fall UP the stairs. At work. With food or coffee. The most recent incident was YESTERDAY!
When I was in the first grade, I had a wart on my top lip. You KNOW that is weird.
I noticed a man peeing on himself in public and then he followed me into a theater. Security removed him.
I once backed down a freeway overpass ramp because I had an anxiety attack.
Walter Knott's grandson was present during my labor with my 3rd baby. Yes, he was in my LDR Room. True story.
My toothbrush mistook Monistat for Crest and I brushed my teeth with it. Don't ask.
People talk to me in community restrooms - fellow employees hold me hostage, prospective bosses continue with questions and custodians stand at the door telling me to "Take your time! Don't rush! I am in no hurry!" Really????
My butt has a magnet that seems to pull children into it...that must be it...right?
I get lost on practically every road trip I set out on.
I found a dead rat on my bosses windshield. Of course I screamed bloody murder!
Batteries of all kinds seem to have short lives with me....camera batteries, watch batteries, phone batteries, car batteries...am I sucking the energy out of them???
My bedroom TV started changing channels ALL BY ITSELF! No help from me! I even took the batteries out of the remote (because of my history with depleting the energy from batteries) thinking that might be the problem! Nope. Channels just kept changing....finally after two days the husband unplugged the TV and plugged it back in. Voila! The channels stopped surfing on their own and returned to being remote controlled. Weirdness.
When I play my Beatles albums backward they say "Paul is Dead". Weird.

5 comments:

The Rich Family said...

I'm not really sure what to say other than...I MISS YOU! :) You always make me laugh!!!

Unknown said...

What's up Weird Wallace!!!

Anonymous said...

That was funny. Katie and I laughed. You stole the magnet one from dad though.

Anonymous said...

last line should have read, "when i play my beatles record backward it says, 'paul is alive,' what is wrong with me?!!!!"

beckie said...

Evan...I confess...I did steal that from you dad, but only because it really happens to me too! In fact, the last time we were there it was a bunch of Harijuku girls! How weird is that?

Austin..YOU ARE SO RIGHT! That would be a MUCH better weird wallace thing! You are funny!

Love you guys! smoochies, momsie xoxo