SPARKS FLY

Recently a 'friend' on facebook sent me a message stating we should no longer communicate because our views are too "divergent" and the causes I support make her... "uncomfortable."

She should be uncomfortable. Suicide, bullycide, discrimination, inequality, civil rights....these are causes and issues that SHOULD make EVERYONE uncomfortable! Unfriending people and burying your head in the sand does NOT make these issues go away. And divergent? It is by listening to others and their 'divergent' views that we learn and grow. When we look at things from another persons perspective, with an open mind, we may find ourselves becoming enlightened. We may also find our own beliefs and convictions strengthened.

She concluded her message to me with "and are you involved with a church family?" Thank you for asking! I am involved with a wonderful church family - the GLOBAL church family. I love, serve and pray for this family everyday.

This is not the first person to unfriend me on this social networking site, nor do I believe she will be the last. It is interesting to me that in every case, every unfriending, has been at the hands of a person of faith. And I can't help but feel badly for them. For their sad, dark, small, fearful world.

This situation and each one before it and those yet to come have strengthened my convictions that I am indeed doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Loving, serving and praying for people. Lighting fires under people. Causing them to think. Sparking change in their world.

Let The Sparks Fly!!!

Day of Silence

Yesterday, April 16, 2010, was the National Day of Silence. Young people across the country participated in this GLSEN sponsored event to raise awareness of the forced silence of the LGBT community by ANTI-LGBT bullying, harassment, name-calling etc. My daughter participated at her high school and endured the ignorance of others. I participated in my own way by NOT posting or communicating on Facebook or Twitter for 24 hours. Our hope is that the silence creates awareness. What will you do to end the silence?

MY WORLD IS CHANGING; IT'S REARRANGING.

CHANGE. Is inevitable. Leads to growth. Growth is good. They say...

I have a tendency to be resistant to change - I don't really like it. I like to do the same things year after year on holidays; I like to watch the same old movies repeatedly. I like the OLD Jungle Cruise boats and Swiss Family Robinson Tree House and I miss May Company and Bullock's and Buffums and the Broadway Department stores! And don't get me started on the grocery stores! I like to sleep on the same side of the bed every night. It is comforting. It is my world.
But things change. My world is changing. It is rearranging.
I resisted learning to drive, setting up an answering machine in my home, using a computer and cell phone. Today I have a 130 mile daily round trip commute for work, my answering machine has been replaced with voicemail and I am tethered to my imac and my iphone! I keep in touch with my kids, loved ones and friends via texts and emails and I use Evites (electronic invitations!)
Mother's pass away and Father's remarry - adding more names to my Christmas Card list (and email addresses!)
Children that once needed someone to wipe their noses and bottoms are now young adults - purchasing kleenex and toilet paper for their own home!
A son breaks up with his girlfriend - leaving an emptiness in my heart that only time and more change will fill. Change that I resist.
A son that brings so much laughter into our home, is found at home less and less. The house is so much quieter these days...
A daughter that once played in her grandmother's high heels now wears high heels of her own. And looks great in them!
Thanksgiving - a time for family to be together, was for the first time in 27 years, a time when my family was NOT together.
Friendships that were as solid as rock for years begin to crumble into pebbles, then into sand and then disappear in the wind. Winds of change...

Change. Things change. Seasons Changes. People change.

My world is changing and rearranging. And although I am not the most willing participant in this makeover, I keep trying. Because CHANGE IS GOOD. Right?

The Amazing and Amusing Costco! (or how Beckie amuses herself while waiting for the hubs!)

As I waited ever so patiently in OC for the hubs to finish golfing last night I was drawn to the local Costco for frozen yogurt. As I strolled through the warehouse with my yummy treat in hand (and my iphone in the other) I was struck by the assortment of strange, amazing and wonderful things available for purchase! And then it happened - the BRAINFREEZE - right in front of a 2 foot tall LAVA LAMP. 2 FEET TALL! Gazing as though I were in a trance at the glob of gloop moving ever so slowly in the Lava Lamp, the giant 2 foot tall Lava Lamp, my brainFREEZE became a brainSTORM! "People must see this! They must see the strange and wonderful things you can purchase at Costco! Costco is more than just giant jars of mayonnaise! You can have the giant Lava Lamp of your dreams!" And so for the next hour and a half I amused myself by taking pictures of the strange and wonderful in Costco! Enjoy!


Your home is not complete without the GIANT 2 FOOT TALL LAVA LAMP.Availabe in two color combinations! Red/Purple and Green/Blue!


SCARY!!! A Ginormous SKULL that begins laughing a very spooky laugh and flashes red eyes when you move close to it! EEK!


No, these are not peppers...this is a specialty citrus tree! The 'Fingered Citron' is commonly known as 'Buddha's Hand'. The fragrance is wonderful and very strong. But that Buddha has some scary skinny fingers goin on!





Such a cute little red leather chair! So comfy! I'll take two!


And a comfy chair of another kind...a throne if you will...this toilet was just sitting out in the middle of the aisle. I refrained from lifting the lid...


Keurig Koffee MaKer...one cup at a time! I was amused by this. ONE cup of coffee at a time in a store that sells GIANT LAVA LAMPS.



Books about Cooks....and Books that help you Cook





4 pound can of Chicken of the Sea! WOWIE!



And you can even pick up some men that serve...and some serve yourself men! They were the dessert, er I mean, in the dessert aisle! Those silly paramedic guys always looking so deelish!



The final item of my amazing tour of Costco, the item that took my breath away right there in the garden center, the item that would make my friend Sam curse at it's sight on this 20th day of August 2009...



FROSTY THE SNOWMAN! And it's beginning to look strangely and wonderfully like Christmas!
I just crack myself up!

The Second Installment of..."Thank God"

-----Original Message-----
From: Rebecca Wallace
To: ________________
Sent: Wed, Aug 5, 2009
Subject: Re: Harvey Milk Day....Action Required!!!!

Dear ____________

I applaud you for standing up for what you believe... even though we may not always agree. However I take exception to your statement that I attacked you. In no way did I attack you or anyone else, that is your perception. And I cannot change that for you. I simply stated that the misinformation in the email was hurtful to me and my family.

You are right -you don't know me. I am a woman that loves her children, loves her family, loves others and loves God.

It's late and I need to go to bed, but I will leave you with one last thought - My son did not choose his sexual orientation any more than I chose mine or you chose yours. He is what God created. And I am thankful that God chose to give him to me to raise and love.

Take care,
Beckie Wallace

And the fearfully ignorant sheep's reply:
Subject: Re: Harvey Milk Day....Action Required!!!!

I agree God created all of us, but God in no way would create something or someone
with a sexual orientation that was an abomination to him. He created man and woman
for a reason the way they naturally fit together and complete each other. I have found
nothing that states God creates something that is an abomination to him and against
him, he's loving and would not do that to someone, it's a choice, free will.
He warns us against all the abominations to him in scripture, he would never make one
of us that way, that he is against. It is a choice outside of God's creation.
My only problem with what you did is you sent it to everyone that My Mother sent it
to instead of just telling her your feelings. I am hurt my mother is loving and kind
and I will always love protect my family. God Loves us all and we need to teach
our children right from wrong, God's scriptures not what the world says is okay.
Too many things get twisted into what is okay and what people are willing to except.
We love our family no questions asked unconditionally just like God loves us.
I just can't believe that the awesome loving God I know would ever make a child or
anyone with anything that he has set apart in scriptures as an abomination.
That is what it says over and ov er, believe me I have searched to try and understand.
I believe God doesn't make mistakes, so why would he make ones of us with something
that is against him. I have prayed for answers a lot on this subject and have had many
discussion with many groups to try and understand and ask God for answers, to understand.
I am always sent back to my scriptures, so at this point, I have searched for answers, because
I always want to be fair. I am fair, understanding and love all, I just think if they try and take God
out of our schools, why is it okay to put this in it. Children are too impressionable and need
structure and guidance, it's a confusing enough world.

Thank You for your time and sorry for any hurtful words and I too try to
understand what God's plan is for my life and to always try to understand
what it is I suppose to know. I know I do air with spiritual caution for myself.

Thank You
____________

Thank God!!!

I am just a mom that loves her kids, loves her hubs, loves her family and loves her friends (FRAMILY!)

Recently I received an email from a person that I have known for many years - a person I communicate with on a regular basis and have a friendly relationship with. But when I opened this email I was brought to tears. The information it presented was hurtful, directly affecting my family and friends. Statements were made in this email that were completely false, much like the YES on 8 propaganda (read lies) we were all subjected to. I wrote what I felt was a kind and gentle response to the sender of the email with a 'reply all' because there were many people on the distribution list receiving this inaccurate information including at least one other person that is the parent of a gay child.

My intent in responding to the email was to gently remind folks that misinformation is hurtful, that my family and I were hurt by the words, the tone, the inaccuracies and the judgment in the text of the message.

I don't know why I was surprised when I have received a less than kind message from one of the 'reply all' folks - a response that was in fact judgemental, misinformed and ignorant on so many levels. And yet, the writer claims to be a loving Christian.

I have included the emails here, leaving out the names of the two people that sent them.I have posted them exactly as they came to me. Typos and misspelled words etc. Read them for yourself.

Once again I thank God that in His wisdom he gave Dylan to David and me to love and raise. He is a blessing in our lives. I am so very grateful that Dylan was not born into the 'loving Christian home' of the person that responded to my email.

I will continue to stand up for what is right, accept and love others, speak boldly and provide support and protection when necessary. It is what I do. It is what I was put on this earth to do. And I will continue to do it as long as have a brain that functions. You betcha.

Original Email I received:
Please pass this on.....
I called and got a busy signal and immediately redialed and got a busy signal, but on the 3rd redial, I got right in. Take a moment and vote. It took me 30 seconds or less
_________________
Hi Friends,
Gov. Schwarzenegger is being pressured more from all sides to sign this bill.
If signed, SB 572 would pressure every California public school to have an official Harvey Milk Day promoting the homosexual, bisexual, and transsexual agenda to children as young as kindergarten. The sky is the limit on what a school considers suitable commemorative exercises. This is written so broadly, SB 572 could allow gay-pride parades on campus, cross-dressing, and homosexual marriage dramas, etc. It all going to come down to how much pressure California 's governor feels. Remember, last year the Democrat-controlled Legislature passed Harvey Milk Gay Day, but Schwarzenegger vetoed it.
This year, Schwarzenegger is being lobbied more heavily by homosexual activists. Sean Penn, who played Harvey Milk on the big screen, and Milk's homosexual activist nephew, have both personally lobbied Schwarzenegger to ask him to sign SB 572. Other differences from last year is that there are four more Democrats in the Assembly voting for Harvey Milk Gay Day. And for the first time, a Republican, Senator Abel Maldonado, is supporting this anti-traditional family value bill.
This call will only take about 30 seconds to complete.
Call Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger at 916-445-2841. Listen to the recorded message and press in the following order:
1 (English)
2 (legislation)
1 (SB572)
2 (against)


My Response to the sender:
Hi ___!

I hope you have had a wonderful summer!! Are you ready for the new school year? The beginning of school seems to come earlier and earlier every year! I really do miss all of you and all of the hustle and bustle of the school site!

I love getting your emails, and hope you will continue to send me your stories and jokes and important info. However, this particular email was hurtful to me personally and to my family. I know it was not your intention to hurt anyone, but sadly, it has. To begin with, much of what is stated in the email is false. But on a more personal level, I have a gay son whom I love very much. I am very proud of him and the person that he is and look forward to what he will bring to our world in the future. My hope and prayer is that one day our society will accept him the same way I accept him. David and I love and support ALL of our children 100% regardless of their political beliefs, their faith, their gender, their sexual orientation etc. So when I read false information that directly affects a member of my family and ultimately hurts my entire family, well, it just makes me sad.

This wasn't the first time and it certainly won't be the last time our family is hurt out of ignorance. And many times I just let it go. But this email affects more people than just me and my family - There is at least one other parent of a gay child that I know of on this email's address list. And that is what compelled me to write this note to you.

Love ya ___, take care, and have a wonderful first day of school!
smoochies,
Beckie


Response from someone on the distribution list:
Beckie:
I don't know who you are. I don't know why you felt the need to send me an
email that you send to ____, my mother. I'm highly offended you send this to
me and all the others at my mothers expense. If you were only interested in
responded to ____ you would have done that, but you sent it to everyone and
that tells me what kind of person you really are. I am sick & tired of gay being
shoved down my throat at every turn in life. I HAVE NO PROBLEM with
peoples choices in life, just don't involve me or my loved ones or innocent children.
I am a Christian and believe in God's Word all the way back to the Old Testament.
He clearly states in black & white what it was to be then and now, what was right
and wrong. That way no one could say it is confusing. It was the same when he
had scripture wrote as to now, it never changes. I'm with a lot of people who want
schools to be concerned with teaching the basics, not anyone's beliefs or lifestyles
of choices. Basically leave our children alone. There is enough horrible stuff in this
world and a young mind is impressionable. There is nothing ignorant about knowing
what it right & what is wrong, try to explain it all you want, have all the excuses
and it is what it is, all the stuff I've read and tried to get my brain around, I've seen
and heard both sides and it just doesn't work. Maybe it works in your life and that
is great, we're happy for you, but don't try and tell me you are not an angry
woman by the words in your email, I'm just sorry you felt the need to drag me
into this. Like others who drag us into and won't leave it alone. Have your choices, stop
with putting it in our faces in every aspect of life. Love your child leave the rest of us alone
and don't preach what is ignorant, because a lot of us have looked at all sides
and we know the truth.

Before I was a quite person and especially about God. Now days I stand up and tell people
how I feel because, they obviously have no problem with shouting their beliefs and I'm tired
of seeing what this country has come to. So now I speak of God and his grace and love
speak out when people try and to change my government, society & morals just because it
suits their life style.

I will be nice, since you attacked me. I will only send this back to you not everyone.
I will pray for you & your family, because you really aren't okay with the way things
are for yourself & family.


Thank You
_______

RALPH CONRAD SHELTON, My Daddy

My daddy is the sweetest, kindest and most gentle man I know. He is tender and loving, sensitive and generous. I love him very very much.

My mom passed away in 2004 after 50 years of marriage, a loving marriage to the end, leaving my dad alone and with a broken heart. I had serious doubts about whether his broken heart could be mended.
















Although he is by nature somewhat of an introvert - shy really - and was dealing with an enormous sense of grief and loss, sadness and loneliness, he went on living each day. He attended birthday parties, holiday celebrations, dance performances, plays, family dinners, graduations and more. My love for and pride in my dad grew each day as he took care of himself physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually; in the ways he remembered my mother; as he developed his own interests - dancing, reading, the history channel; as he worked to improve his computer skills; made home improvements; took dance lessons; researched his family history; accepted and loved my children unconditionally.


When I was small, I would stand on top of my dad's feet and dance with him, snuggle on his lap, and listen as he read aloud from a storybook. When I was a teenager he helped me clean out my closet on countless occasions, took me to buy my first bra and taught me to drive a stick shift. As a young woman he walked me down the aisle at my wedding. As a new mom he rocked my crying babies to sleep. And as a grieving daughter he hugged me as if he would never let me go. He drove me to school, to meetings, to work. He supported my whims and my fancies. He even made me breakfast in the morning on school days (and now he makes me the best mimosas!) I just love my daddy.

One evening in January of this year I received a phone call from my dad to let me know he was going to do something he had not done in over 50 years. He was going out on a date with a lady. With Roberta. I had not yet met Roberta, so he sent me a photo of her via email. I don't know what was cuter. The picture of Roberta or his giddiness and happiness at the mention of her name. After that, Roberta and my Dad were practically inseparable. Holding hands as they walked, going to the movies together and out for meals. Just adorable.


My dad recently celebrated his 75th Birthday and we held a party in his honor. It was at this party my dad made a special announcement. He and Roberta were going to be married on November 14, 2009. From across the room, through my tears of joy, I could see his beaming smile as he stood in front of his friends and family and told everyone that he loved Roberta, that she loved him and they were going to spend the rest of their lives together.
Roberta has filled an empty place in my daddy's wounded heart and it is beginning to mend. And I couldn't be happier for him. For both of them.
Love you Daddy and Roberta. Happiness and Love to you both always. becca